This is what I’ll tell you when you ask me the penultimate “get to know me” question about the most embarrassing moment of my life.
I was in college, probably a junior. It was the 90s and somehow I thought saddle oxfords were making a comeback. I was mistaken. Anyway, here’s the equation that causes me to label this event as “most embarrassing:”
Saddle oxfords (if you know them, they have flat soles, no tread) plus
slate floor plus
students lined up for drop/add
divided by, the kicker, rain.
When my rain-soaked saddle oxfords hit the slate floor of the social science building lobby, I executed moves unlike any Michael Jackson could have mustered. Feet were slippin’, slidin’, glidin’, twistin’ and turnin’ across that slate floor—as a group of about 30 students in the English drop/add line looked on. Finally, carpet.
As soon as I wrangled my feet to order on the carpet, I looked over my shoulder at the slate flooring, and grumbled my complaint. What the heck? Stupid slippery floor. How ridiculous. And I never stopped. I just kept walking.
I don’t recall hearing any snickers. But I imagine them. Oh, how I imagine them.